pre gifting: enough years of pissing blood and pus. debilitating pain issuing from the malformed and decrepit. so the story goes. removal of the engorged culprit comes about like the arrest and incarceration of an abusive spouse. this project will be of little consolation and i expect no gratitude.
post gifting: ok, so that went almost exactly as i had predicted. the whole scene disintegrated pretty quickly and then we moved on. here are some samples of dialogue.
me: check it out haggis panties, i made you a replacement kidney out of wire.
jam: oh, is this the project for your little art class?
me: yes, but i made it for you. say something nice, i get graded for this.
jam: great, looks comfortable. i'll try it on just as soon as i am done grinding these broken walnut shells in my twat.
skip forward a little...
me: ok, so what do you think of the ureter?
jam: thats wrong. it's supposed to be lower so that it can drain properly.
me: no, i am pretty sure this is right...
jam: no, you're dumb. its supposed to be lower.
anyway, my best friend jam has polycystic kidney disease and had one of them removed. am i a good friend?
yes.
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